A Desperate Plea for Hope

The Chimeric Professor was pacing restlessly around their living room, paying attention to the door. They have sent a message to the Tenebrous Wanderer, asking to meet again and discuss some important matters, given the choices made and how they affected both of them. The Professor hoped for nem to come, yet expected nem not to, as it would have been a very normal reaction.

The Wanderer thought the same. For a moment, ne feared it could be a trap, to cut nir remaining time even shorter. Or perhaps an attempt at giving explanations and excuses ne didn't need, maybe a selfish attempt at asking forgiveness from the sacrificial victim before the blade falls. But ne knew the Professor. Ne knew they wouldn't be that petty or dishonest. Perhaps it was something important. Ne couldn't risk to depart forever without having at least tried.

So ne, already used to not ringing nir own house's bell, just slipped beneath the door, startling the Professor in a way which almost inverted who of them wasn't expected to survive. Once recovered, they stepped closer, hands offered in a way that regretted not being able to hug nem, which ne understood very well, returning the gesture. There was a sigh, perfectly coordinated between them both or, more like, produced by the Professor and armonized by the Wanderer.

There was a bit of silence. The Wanderer silently asking what was ne called for. The Professor silently looking for a way to answer without sounding absolutely crazy, sinfully selfish, and any combination of both at the same time. Finally, they settled on not making the one sentenced to death wait any longer.

"I am designing a way to make your life go on, in a way, after your death."

There was an interrogation hanging in the air, placed there by the Wanderer, which the Professor picked up.

"Edward's proposal of translating you into Parabola had me thinking. Most people have Parabolan reflections, who usually show a different version of oneself, but sometimes they are perfect replicas. If we could make you one, exactly as you are, with your memories and personality, just made out of dreams instead of shadows, Viric dreaming to be Gant. That way you, a version of you, could live on, keep experiencing the world and keep close to nir friends, just from the other side of the mirror... While your original self will be dissolved into me once again, the other could go on with your life... If you so wish, that is."

There is a moment of silence, before the Professor decides to add.

"And I would prefer you to not disappear entirely. I... I love you, Tene. I truly do. I want you to live a full life, and I know you could without me preventing it. Had I not made you on a whim you could have been more stable, and if I didn't need you to heal I would-"

The Professor was stopped by Tene's raised hand, derailing the cycle of regrets. Then the bandaged absence took hold of pen and paper, and started writing.

"You did the same. Let yourself be sacrificed, live on through a double."

"... Yes, that's the case. How do you...? I didn't tell you-"

"Your moth told me, in Burgundy."

The Professor stood there, assimilating that information. The Wanderer got back to the point.

"Have you ever felt less yourself, because of this? False? Wrong? A liar? Or do you feel part of an unbroken continuity?"

"I never doubted of my authenticity or self. My body may be younger than my memories, may not have been born of my mother, or be the one that grew with myself, but I am me, always have been. My family is still mine, as are my friends, experiences and personality. I... I don't think a body defines who I am."

Both of them needed to sit down for a moment to think deeply on the fact. Or, more accurately, the Professor needed to sit down and the Wanderer followed suit, as it is polite.

"Will I get to meet nem? Get to know who I will be from them on?"

"I... I believe so, yes. I'll need you to create nem, and once the deed succeeds, ne'll be at the other side of the mirror while you remain here. So you could interact, just like anyone else with their reflection, or perhaps in a more special way, given how unique you are and, thus, how unique ne'll be."

"Will my friends know? Do they need to?"

"They..." The Professor sighed, knowing very well what this question entailed. "They don't need to know, no. I can tell them you were just translated into Parabola, which won't be a lie, and that you keep living from there. If you so wish."

The Tenebrous Wanderer thought about it for a short while, then slowly nodded, no need to write.

"Very well. I can promise you that. Will you accept? Will you allow me to try and save at least part of you? Can I start researching and experimenting? I won't take you from your last days, not a second more than necessary. I'll just require your presence to perform the translation, after Tuesday's meeting. Do you agree?"

The Tenebrous Wanderer stood motionless for a long while. Then, finally, nodded slowly.

"Yyyssss"

The Professor wasn't expecting this kind of answer. They will hold onto the memory of it to their dying breath. They will need it if they wish to survive their guilt long enough to enjoy the gift their creation, their child, is so generously bestowing them with such grace.

The Professor needed to hug Tene so badly.

"Thank you..." They managed to say before sobbing, eyelids forming salt crystals again.

The Tenebrous Wanderer didn't answer at that. Instead, ne just wrote something down then stood to grab an envelop, put the folded message there, then seal it, leaving on the table. In the envelope, another message is written.

"Open it, when this me is no longer."

Finally ne waved goodbye, and slipped under the door again, back to Fallen London, back to nir last days of life, back to nir friends, who made this life something worth being sad about its end.